Weekly Update

Hello my lovelies,

I hope you are all well.

I have had a bit of an up and down week. It was my anniversary on Sunday and I was in so much pain that I didn't get to enjoy it. In fact I was trying to edit my wedding dvd and ended up getting really emotional and having a melt down.

I was watching myself and although at the time I was sick with my ulcers and stuff, my pain and fatigue and stuff wasn't at the stage it is now. I was still able to work. I was still able to have a normal life. Through the sickness and tiredness then  I was still able to enjoy a fortnight in Florida. I miss that. I miss so much of my life. I just got so sad, and broke down and then cried even more thinking of how much I miss my daddy in law and how amazingly supportive he was of me. I have actually felt really depressed lately, and it has been largely to do with losing one of the closest people to me. It has caused a huge set back in my condition. I had been doing so well for a few months and was able to look after him. I knew that the chances were that I would lose all the progress after he would pass away, because as we know traumatic events can cause flares.

I am having to go to the doctors again about medication because I am fed up being in agony even though I am taking anti inflammatory tablets and tramadol. In fact I have been taking co codomol on top of that and it isnt sorting it. I am feeling my right shoulder get bad again. It was this time last year I had my injection. Which really helped as it the physio but now I am getting so much pain again.

It is so frustrating because I am trying to build up my career and actually work from home so that I don't have to rely on benefits. I want to make something of myself. I am not the type of person that copes easily with not being able to work. I don't look down on those who aren't working, I just go crazy not having something to do, as I am sure a lot of you do. I love what I do, nails and make up and I am so excited being able to do spray tans now too. I cannot wait to get clients in and do that. So amazing. I love it. It is the most fun job ever. If only my stupid body wouldn't crap out on me so much. I am hoping in a years time to open a salon of my own. Of course I will probably rent out space or hire people who knows but for now I really need to build up and actually get my confidence back. I need to be fitter for it too though. Right now my body is only allowing part time hours. Which I have to be ok with. But that wont work if I own my own place...

Eughhhhh Anyway after not getting much sleep last night I am starting to get really tired. The pain is starting to increase and push through again, but I am hoping that I get over soon.

How are you guys doing? Are you having an ok week?

Love you all so much,

Lynds, xxxxxxxx